We are not struggling quite as much as expected with this change. Dayne was amazing this time … How much one can change and grow honestly astounds me when i look at him. Not long ago a change like this would have sent him into a rage of anger and fear and he would spin in circles, sucking me into his energy until I was sobbing and panicking and feeling like the world was crashing down on me. He worst-case-scenarios bad things at a master level…or used to, anyway. This time he freaked but only for a few minutes. He recognized that panicking wouldn’t help and would only end up hurting my reasoning and coping so calmed… immediately. It was remarkable, really. I have actually never seen him take control of his emotions the way he did on Friday night. He knows that my PTSD reactions can spend me into another universe entirely, because making me feel like I’m about to lose something I need is generally the best way to make me lose my mind. But seriously, he took a deep breath, refocused, and took my every cue attrying to redirect the anger he felt and the panic I felt, and we ended up in a good place. We thought back to when our ex landlord told us we had to move and how it felt like our world was about to end. The reality there couldn’t have been farther from the truth because we ended up moving from a very bad place into a wonderful one that we are proud to share with people and to call our home. Maybe this change will be what Colt needs to start the next phase of his life and growth. Now he will have his friends over more often because he won’t see them every day of the week and he is growing up, so maybe it is time to give him a little more independence and a little more change. The kids at the sitters offered to help him to and from school at least until Christmas to help with the transition so it’s not all bad. I suspect that after they have been paid for a couple of weeks they will want to continue. The oldest goes to high school next year so we’ll have to see how that works, but there’s plenty of time before that happens.
Wednesdays and Christmas holidays are the next hurdle but I’m not thinking about that until Monday.
It’s been a pretty good weekend after all. 🙂