Happy Canada Day!

my beautiful country is celebrating its birthday today and we hall have the day off work! Hooray!  I love being not at work when no one else is there. I don’t feel like I am missing things when everyone is home too. Lol. We went for a free pancake breakfast with fresh maple syrup donated by a local maple bush and then we went for a short, soggy hike through a lovely nature trail. We came home to gardening (Colt actually helped for the first time ever!) while Dayne cut the grass and now I’m sitting on the deck in the sun feeling pretty damn good. I have an infection brewing in my jaw but I’m ignoring it until tomorrow. Hopefully I won’t wake up looking like I’ve had a stroke. This morning I looked like I had a bad case of the mumps. 

Oh but this sun. 


I’ve been avoiding everyone this week…well, mostly everyone. I kind of shut down inside after a day or two off…I always do that. Life comes crashing in on me the moment it’s silent and no matter how I try to refocus, I always end up somewhere dark and lonely. 

The other night my giant cat and the little monster found themselves a mouse to play with in the house.  We’re in the country so move are not uncommon, plus, it’s been raining torrents recently which always leaves the poor little rodents in search of somewhere dry to sleep. The giant cat was born as a stray and when he was just a little guy he was catching mice like a pro. The day o brought him home he had a mouse flushed out and caught before I even saw what he was doing. Of course, we showered him with praise and he carried on mousing for us, always handing the dead or twitching mouse or mole with pride. Once the little one joined our family Jack (big black kitty below) took it upon himself to teach her to hunt. Daisy (tortie) is a tenth Jacks size and had never needed to hunt for her dinner, born to a spoiled indoor cat and came right to is when she was weaned. Despite Jack’s most patient and diligent efforts, Daisy refuses to kill or eat the mice she finds but will play with them for hours. She won’t hand them over either. Wants to keep her new toy. Eventually I think she convinced Jack that her way was more fun and now he too spends hours playing with the new toy. Often, by the time I am able to get the mouse away from them it practically crawls into my hands, exhausted and thankful to have a way out. The last one had its spirit completely broken. Just sat there when dropped, staring off into the distance. Poor things.  Anyway. The other night I saw the cats in hunting mode and although we pleaded with them, no one was willing to give up the mouse. After an hour of chasing, we gave up and went to bed. I was hesitant but Dayne picked on me and asked me what I though would happen?  Would the mouse decide to crawl into bed with us when it got tired of trying to get away. 

   
 Well. Obviously not right?  

Wrong. 

Jack, wanting to bring us the mouse when he had his fill of fun, picked the thing up, jumped onto the bed and dropped the STILL LIVING rodent on my legs. I woke trying to identify what I was feeling. Something scurried by my feet and I heard it drop to the floor, a pounce, a squeak and a scramble as the chase started anew. A few moments later Jack returned and to my wide-eyed horror dropped the thing on me again. 

“Aaargh!  JACK!  Dayne there’s a dead mouse in our bed. No a live one!  Oh god Jack NO!  Don’t bring it to bed!!” I sputtered and scrambled to get my body as far from the end of the bed as physically possible. 

Dayne jumped up, confused and bleary-eyed, grabbed a sock from the floor and then chased Jack who chased the mouse in circles around the room until he managed to catch it. I didn’t do much to help other than perch on the edge of the bed and announce the let direction I saw it go. Lol. 

Aside from the mouse excitement, not much has happened in the last few days. I’ve kept to myself, laid low. Slept a lot. I’m really tired. Yesterday I drank three of those monster energy drinks and two green teas and was still battling sleep/unconsciousness by 830 pm. I don’t know what time it is now but I’m close to my limit. It’s maybe 5?  Makes it hard to do anything fun or productive.

So. Started taking ginseng with “royal jelly” on recommendation of the herbalist I see sometimes. It’s not doing anything after two weeks but apparently can take a while to build up in your system. Also taking B12, drinking coffee and those horrible monster drinks that are loaded with caffeine and taurine. You’d think I’d be wired and unable to sleep but nope. I could sleep just as much as normal and then some. When Dayne isn’t here through the day I sleep. Could have easily slept from 7 pm Monday night to 6 pm on Tuesday when he got home from work.  If Colt hadn’t been home I would have done just that. Contemplating lying down right now, In fact. The keyboard on my phone is getting hard to read.  Vision is doubling, eyes fogging over, closing. Can feel sleep coming for me. I hate feeling so exhausted. Just want to shut my eyes so bad. If I do I will miss another of Dayne’s delicious dinners and the fireworks Colt wants to go see tonight. I will go from my day off to time to go to work in what feels like a blink and I will be pissed that I didn’t enjoy my time off, just slept the time away.  But then, physically struggling to keep my eyes from closing and the sleep switch from flipping, only to end up losing to it, is somehow even more frustrating.  I wish there was a third option. 

Narcolepsy huh?  I’m still rolling that one around my head. I don’t disputed what my doc thinks, I’m just terribly ignorant about this disorder. I thought that it was a black and white deal – narcoleptics passed out in any circumstance and experienced a type of seizure every time (cataplexy). It never occurred to me that there would be varying degrees of this…like every other disease and disorder known to man. *sigh*. It does sound a hell of a lot like me though, reading up on it now. No word on a quicker appointment with the sleep specialist but then, I wasn’t expecting much. Socialized health care is awesome but it does have its drawbacks. Long wait times is one of those…especially for specialties that are generally non-life threatening. 

(Whoops. Just fell asleep there. Was gone for a good 15 min. Woke as I started to pitch forward in my seat. Crap).  Best go find a place to lie down before I hurt myself. 

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About Grainne

My name is Grainne. This blog has been with me for years now and has served as a journal, a confessional, an outlet and a place for me to create and express my love of life. Thank you for stopping by and for becoming a part of this life long journey of mine. I appreciate every single one of you who takes the time to do so. :)

7 responses to “Happy Canada Day!”

  1. Birdie says :

    At times I have wondered if I had Narcolpesy. There have been times in my life where having to sleep invades every cell in my body. At times in my life it has been worse than others. Does it go into remission? I don’t know. And yes, caffeine didn’t do anything to help it. My brain simply had to sleep but the caffeine kept my body awake. I would be jittery but beyond exhausted. It felt like I had been wrung out of every but of energy. Just lifting my arms took effort. I was diagnose with severe sleep apnea and now have a CPAP machine and things have improved but every so often I go back to this debilitating need to sleep. I don’t think words can even begin to describe it.

    And would you please post a close-up picture of your tattoo on your ankle? ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. ambivalencegirl says :

    Just wanted to say I’m thinking about you. I know I’ve told you many times but I absolutely love your tattoos. I’m so wanting another one (and I swore I was done last time). ๐Ÿ’œ

    • Grainne says :

      Thanks, my friend. xox I’m trying to avoid thinking about too many more tattoos myself. I am running out of places I can cover for work.

  3. littlegirlintherain says :

    Congrats on Canada Day!

  4. littlegirlintherain says :

    Sorry, I should have said Happy Canada Day. I never know how to do the proper good wishes lol.

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