Uh oh

At work today I was working out of the office for the afternoon. I popped back in to check my phone before I left for the day and discovered two calls on my work caller ID, both from my dad’s home number.  I froze solid and stared (my mouth was probably hanging open) and I toyed with the idea of just packing up and going home for the day without checking my messages but I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. I pressed the button that takes me to my voicemail and held my breath and finger hovering over the ‘end call’ button as a means of protection. I expected my dads wife to be the voice I heard but the first message was a hang up.  The second was a pause, an unidentifiable sound of the receiver moving around, or possibly static, and then my mom’s voice, distant sounding, but so clearly hers say “that’s not her voice…” and then the call disconnected. I played it 10 times over and it was definitely her.  

What was my mother doing at my father’s house?  They were sworn, mortal enemies last I knew.  I don’t understand it at all.  Then a slow, creeping dread came over me and I nearly blacked out on my feet. 

I never saw an actual obit when he died. I didn’t have a chance to go to the funeral and I didn’t actually hear about it from any of my family members….I was told in passing by an old friend of my dads that he died a few years ago. Could that have been a bullshit story to keep me away?  Is that ridiculous?  Maybe, but I can’t understand why my mother would be hanging at my dad’s second wife’s home years after wards. They weren’t exactly buddies.  Why would she be there?  If his wife died no one would tell me because that woman hated me like I’ve never been hated before. She actually snarled when forced to speak to me.  There were visits where my dad forced her to come see me and would then drag Dayne off for a beer, leaving me with this woman who ignored me, refused to speak to or look at me, and, when cornered she would shake with rage as she explained how I was killing my father and that she hated me for it. (I haven’t ever quite understood that. In reality it was something like “you won’t do exactly what he wants so he gets super mad and makes up shit to stress himself out over so he has an excuse to get drunk and then he rages on about wanting to snap your bird like neck and I have to deal with that crap so just fucking do what he wants!”  
Uhh no. 

Bizarre dynamics aside, no matter how she died, my mother would not even consider breaking 7 years of silence for that reason. So why was she calling me from his phone number?  His land line at that?  

Fuck. Now I’m worried they’re going to show up here. What do I do?  

Why didn’t she recognize my voice?!  That just pisses me right off. I knew it was her instantly. 

Dread. Gah. 

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About Grainne

My name is Grainne. This blog has been with me for years now and has served as a journal, a confessional, an outlet and a place for me to create and express my love of life. Thank you for stopping by and for becoming a part of this life long journey of mine. I appreciate every single one of you who takes the time to do so. :)

3 responses to “Uh oh”

  1. Birdie says :

    That is totally weird. Can you call them back but have your numbered blocked then just hang up? What about getting someone to call and ask if he is there?

  2. KittyHere says :

    So sorry you have this mystery to stress you.

  3. Alaina says :

    This is seriously weird. The dynamics you describe with your parents and your dad’s wife is eerily like mine was… I would be freaking, too.

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