Omg I hate this woman 

Heart pounding, anxiety through the roof I feel so exposed and invaded and like I want to run away.  Landlord banging on the dooor every single time Dayne leaves trying to get me to let her in. First I hid under my blankets and then hid in colts room upstairs. Fucking tumbling into fear.  She’s doing it on purpose. I hate this woman. I don’t do well with this at all. 

I am so ashamed of the things in this shitty house.  There are parts of the floor that have been damaged by a cat we had years ago. I found a spot of very old cat pee too….it hasn’t come up yet although I’ve tried twice. The basement is collapsing and the wall to the bathroom that faces the outside is rotted through. We did some cosmetic repairs around it a while ago but I think they’re going to try to blame us. The place is a dump and she has this impression that it was freaking beautiful when we moved in. I can’t deal with it when someone starts lying right to my face and won’t listen or back down. Mike did that to me all the time, saying I said things and did things I didn’t say or do. It tore me apart, made me frantic with desperation to have him listen, hear me… believe that I didn’t do the horrible things he accused me of. It’s exactly the same with her. They bully, bullshit and stand their ground no matter what the reality is. My dad was this type too. Surprise surprise.  

Anyways. I freak out. Dayne gets mad. Then I freak out more and he feels guilty which turns to mad and I freak out even more. This is the worst side of me, this fragile, weak, useless part of me that just wants to crawl into my closet and hide behind the clothes like I did as a kid.   

Stupid but true. More later 

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About Grainne

My name is Grainne. This blog has been with me for years now and has served as a journal, a confessional, an outlet and a place for me to create and express my love of life. Thank you for stopping by and for becoming a part of this life long journey of mine. I appreciate every single one of you who takes the time to do so. :)

8 responses to “Omg I hate this woman ”

  1. Ain't No Shrinking Violet says :

    Ugh, nasty landlords. While there are a lot of problems with owning, and many times I regret ever buying a house, I certainly don’t miss angry landlords who accuse you of trashing the place when it was already trashed. They never seemed to take into account long-term wear and tear either…they’d put in the cheapest carpet and then expect it to hold up for ten years! My sympathies.

  2. Birdie says :

    I think in the end they will have problems getting you to pay for anything. Most tenancy boards side with the renters. If she becomes a real bitch you can counter sue for being made to live in a shit hole. Take pictures! And document, document, document!

  3. Ain't No Shrinking Violet says :

    Adding to what birdie said, you didn’t even have heat in the winter! That alone should give you some power, as your landlords could get in big trouble for that.

    • Grainne says :

      You know, it’s so true. I’m kind of sad I won’t be here to watch their faces when they get their first electric bill. They have NO idea how expensive the utilities are and we barely used them!

      Getting there, day by day. It’s going to be so nice to have heat and air conditioning! xx

  4. Ellen says :

    I hate her too! And I would also be scared. It’s awful when it triggers old pain also. Hope you can get out of that situation soon.

  5. The Sound of Ed's Voice says :

    I’m so sorry!! Stay strong! I hate bullies!! Bullies are just big insecure assholes that’s what I’ve learned! Remember: pop that window open and get it loud and proud!! ;] let that countdown begin!! ❤

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