I can’t sleep. Happy thoughts are keeping me awake.
Haha! I’ll bet you thought you had the wrong blog didn’t you?!
Well it’s close to one am and still here I sit. It seems I’ve entered my stress induced insomnia phase for the month.
I’m happy though. Quietly so. I worked late tonight and when I came home Colt plopped himself next to me on the couch with the brightest smile and a happy hello. He put his back to me, hung his too-huge feet and ever-stretching legs over the arm, leaned against me and started up his video on his phone again (which is really just a wifi functional, restricted iPhone but it’s perfect for his needs as he can text us when he needs though the day). It was so….normal. So comfortable and comforting. I have never felt that I belonged anywhere like I do here.
Just…happy. Good grip on work again, great stance to support what the lad needs of me, great perspective to move forward on. Everything is changing from the way I cope with the spinal pain to the way I mash my way through the hopeless moments. Do you know I’ve not taken a thing for anxiety in a long while? I have three months of scrips that have gone unfilled. I have never been this much in control of my insides. All of my stress is now at work and most of my sadness resides in my dreams.
So. One am and off to sleep I go with a smile on my face. I have good love around me now. It’s what I needed. I’m learning to let go of the constant worry, I think. Can you Imagine? (And no, I’ve not been drinking, lol)