Hiding from crazy
I have been writing every day but not posting. There are some things I feel like I need to say but if I don’t post right away the doubt creeps in and I start wondering why I want the world to know that particular piece of info about me. They sit in draft for a few months then I delete them without ever opening them again. It’s a weird habit, considering how driven I feel to write them at the time.
This week has been tough. Work has been hard, home has been full of sleep and sleep has been full of dreams. The dream memories outweigh the real memories from my week so I feel very torn in two. I am finding that the more I’m there, in sleep and dreams, the more I want to be there. I have been out for the count by 8 pm most nights this week so I have barely managed to see my family. Two nights I was asleep before Dayne even got home at 530/600. I can’t get housework done, can’t watch the shows I want to watch; I’m even behind on blogs I read but that part isn’t so bad because I use this site to detach from work on breaks so tend to stay caught up. Otherwise, I’m fucking exhausted.
I’m hiding from my crazy boss right now. She has a meeting at 1:00 so I decided to take a lunch for the first time since I started working here and, although I’m not eating I am out of my office. There’s a locker room around the corner that has chairs around. Feels very safe down here.
I have been taking more photos recently. Some have turned out gorgeous, like this sunrise which is absolutely naked and untouched:
Could that be any prettier? Now the snow is all gone for the moment and I hear it’s lovely outside but I’m in the basement so, no sunshine reaches here.
I think I’ll start posting some of my favourite photos in this blog along with my words. It’s one of few things that can slow me down and focus me on the present. Colt being another along with music and, strangely, physical pain. I’d prefer the latter three to the pain though.
Let’s see what else I can show you.
This is a favourite from recently. Fall, I think. I love the little line of houses and how perfect they look from that far back. There’s something peaceful about the symmetry.
Ahh well. I think the boss is off to her meeting so I will head back to my office and see if I can wrap up and take off. I’ve not done that once since I started working here and I have earned it tenfold. Screw it.