Sometimes I feel like an alien on this planet who has no idea how to interact with other humans. I try to but it never works out. I saw a friend I used to know years back in the parking garage last night. We made eye contact but I just looked away really fast and kept walking. We pulled out of the garage at the same time and she followed my turns until we got to the north end of the city we work in. I kept avoiding looking at her in the mirror but we caught each other’s eyes a few times anyway. I pulled into a shopping complex to go to the Dollar store for lunch bags and, to my horror, she had pulled in too and parked a row behind me. When I walked up to the store, she was opening the door….I followed her in but went to a different isle. We bumped into each other twice in the store and both times I avoided looking at her. I finally exhaled when I saw her leave the store….

What the fuck is wrong with me? This is a very nice, friendly woman whom I really enjoyed getting to know years ago. I moved from the hospital I’m in now to another campus and we totally lost touch. Worse, I’ve seen AND TALKED TO HER since coming back here. Why I refused to engage her at all is something even I don’t understand.

I don’t do “people” well at all. *sigh*


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About Grainne

My name is Grainne. This blog has been with me for years now and has served as a journal, a confessional, an outlet and a place for me to create and express my love of life. Thank you for stopping by and for becoming a part of this life long journey of mine. I appreciate every single one of you who takes the time to do so. :)

3 responses to “Avoidance”

  1. Cat says :

    I am usually open and friendly with those I meet, but whenever my MH is on a downturn, I become a different person and my low confidence will ignore rather than interact. For me it is all down to paranoia and a fear that they might not want to know me. Do you have any inclination as to why?

  2. KittyHere says :

    Low energy, pain, too much on your mind, nothing upbeat to say, and bad experiences in the past strike me as reasons, very valid reasons, for just wanting to avoid social interaction.

  3. rootstoblossom says :

    I’ve been there too. I choose to avoid, but it so doesn’t feel like a choice at the time. I feel like I’m in danger and sometimes just eye contact can set off alarm bells. If you’re an alien, we might be from the same planet. Pickup and dropoff times for kids stuff is the worst, when you have to wait for about 10-15 minutes with all these semi-strangers, parents of kids you sort of know and see everyday so it should be easy to say hi and chit chat. Some days I can muster a smile. Usually I avoid it altogether, stand apart from them, stay in the car, or send Hubby. Some days I’m ashamed of this, and some days I accept it is part of me.

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