Soooo I was happily working away yesterday around 3:30 when my phone rang. I haven’t had a call from the school about Colt in a couple of weeks (which feels like a miracle) so the number was instantly recognized but not completely understood. I actually thought it was our sitter for a second. I picked up and heard the LST say hello to me with that waver in her voice that they all seem to share when calling to tell me what an asshole my kid was that day. (Sorry, I’m angry. I shouldn’t be because it’s not their job to control him but I feel like they set him up for failure). *deep breath*
Colt was in gym. He doesn’t do well in gym and never has; its a collection of things he cannot deal with all in one place and not only is he expected to be present and engage with the class, he is expected to handle all of his overwhelming shifts and feelings alone. He has no EA with him in the afternoon (a point well argued but they are just not going there. It’s been years of bs regarding this). He was in the gym. It was noisy, kids were yelling, balls were being thrown around, excitement was up, Colt was flat out overwhelmed. The teacher there dislikes him and I know this because he’s told us AND about 60% of the negative feedback we get is from him. Colt stands up to him, which makes me proud, it’s just in the way he does that isn’t so great. So, he was in the gym trying to cope with it all when a ball came flying across the room and hit him in the shoulder. As far as I can tell it was an accident and he wasn’t hurt but he was certainly not happy about it. He asked for a break, went to the hall and tried to cool off. The teacher followed him out and asked if he was okay. He tried to negotiate with Colt and managed to get him back in the gym where he was instantly hit by another ball. That was about all he could take and he took off again, to the hallway, angry now. The stupid teacher, instead of just letting him cool down, started bugging him again asking if he was okay? After a few tries (and Colt telling him he didn’t want to talk about it) he finally yelled:
“Of course it hurts you stupid MF!” (only he didn’t abbreviate, of course).
Aaaaaand that’s an automatic suspension. Although I suspect he was pushed into this outburst, rules are rules and that one is not something they will tolerate. Because of the circumstances, we grounded him from his electronic security blankets (Ipad/Ipod) but he’s doing so well with the new limited times allotted to play that he barely missed them. We’ve tightened that allowance again and we’re down to very little time spent staring at a screen…it’s helped keep him focused, as we knew it would.
Dayne did really well and didn’t yell at all. Colt did really well and seemed to pay attention to what was going on. He was sorry and seemed to really understand what had happened, even the LST noticed a difference in his manner. I didn’t want to destroy the confidence he has gained in the last few weeks….he’s been trying so hard and has been more successful than not, so, we’re lifting the grounding when we get home tonight (although he doesn’t know that yet).
I tried to give Colt the right messages; that it is not okay to be so rude to an elder (or anyone!) but that I understood why he got so frustrated. I asked him, flat out, if he was willing to try again or if he was just going to go back to being mean to everyone and he instantly said he was going to try again. We dropped it there and I was glad to do so.
Dayne went off to work (he had a split shift to cover) and Colt and I sat around after he cleaned his room and changed his sheets (part of his grounding). He spent time watching movies and playing in his bedroom until shower, did that without complaint and was a sweetheart again by the time we went to bed, so everything was more or less back in place by the time the night ended.
And now for some work complaints, because I’ve had my fill of this crap for one week.
Today is okay, well, aside from work. My crazy boss is really going off on me today. She isn’t liking that I am taking a bit of control back in the office and it’s making her really extra super cranky. If I take any initiative at all she LEAPS at me and natters away telling me that I am not doing it in the way she wants.
“Grainne could you make up a template for X?”
30 minutes later…
“Hey crazy boss, here’s the template you asked for. Let me know if you need anything altered. Did you want to meet briefly to review it?”
Response comes in 20 seconds “So, hi. I’m sure it’s a great template but I want to involve the staff in this decision Grainne. Please book a meeting with me and them first before you start redesigning everything without input! I’m not sure I understand why you went ahead and spent time doing this when you are already too busy….”
….what the actual fuck??? I’m too busy because you keep wasting my freaking time!
Ookay then. I need to learn not to do what she asks. Or rather, only do what she wants in parts until she decides that she no longer wants it…or, maybe not even that. Maybe I should just read her mind!! I cannot present her with anything early or she gets mad. I can’t do it in a different way than it’s always been done or she gets mad. I can’t take initiative or make any suggestions until SHE decides to do so. So…with this b/s she’s going to meet with the staff, get their input and then completely disregard it to do what she wants anyway. She’ll likely take my template and screw it all up then declare it perfect and solely HERS. Right now, she sits at home at night on the network and scours over everyone’s time. I get email in the mornings questioning me on why someone was paid a premium for a shift they worked six months ago…..
God damn this is a frustrating personality to work with.