Colt vs Colt

Thanks so much for the love on that last post. I really needed a boost. Xx

I spent some time talking with Colt tonight (from across the room. I am rather meticulous about keeping germs – body fluids and such, to myself. Mind you, I don’t disinfect door knobs\switches and such so it’s probably a lost cause anyway). He told me that he slipped up and swore a few times on the schoolyard, which is where all of his troubles usually start. He said he wanted to be honest with me, because the kids he cursed at are some of the boys in his class. He said that they made him apologize (and he did) and then they forgave him. He was told was forgiven and he settled down, said sorry a few more times and then recess was over. They didn’t tell on him so he didn’t get in trouble or sent to the office, it was just ‘resolved’.

Now. I realize this is just Colts side. There may be several important bits of information missing here, so I take it all in stride until I hear more, but I do know my boy. He was telling me the truth….you can just feel it in him somehow. When he doesn’t care what he’s saying\answering for, he will say *anything* to get you to stop talking to him. He was dead-straight with me; he even listed the particular curse words he used.

First, that he even remembered the truth, let alone had it eating at his conscience. I shit you not, I was not sure he even had one (he got walloped with this common issue for people on the spectrum). Empathy was simply not a language Colt spoke except in temper fit like outbursts when Emily (his guardian angel and sitter’s daughter) fell and scraped her leg when they were 5. To see it develop over these last years has been a gift and such an enormous relief, I cannot find a word loud enough.

Second, these awesome kids in Colt’s class. There are quite a few little asshats in the making at that school but his classmates are protective of him and when he sticks by them, he is always better off. I want to go to his school and tell each one of those little human beings that they are making a difference for him that they don’t even realize. The don’t know how hard it is out there, but I think they sense how it might be for Colt. That they give him a safe place to be who he is makes my soul burn a little brighter.

If I ever win the lottery, these kids are gonna know how
Much it meant to our little family.

Anyway. Time for sleep. I feel like poop and I have to get up
For work tomorrow. A day behind is not a good place to be when the boss is on the rampage. This week roles have reversed and the one who was pissy last week is all happy. It’s the mean ones turn to be unhappy though, which makes it less easy for me.

Nothing is ever easy. Ha. I need to start simplifying.

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About Grainne

My name is Grainne. This blog has been with me for years now and has served as a journal, a confessional, an outlet and a place for me to create and express my love of life. Thank you for stopping by and for becoming a part of this life long journey of mine. I appreciate every single one of you who takes the time to do so. :)

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