Sciatica. My personal nightmare.
Oh god this is about the last think I can deal with right now. I woke up on Saturday afternoon and when I went to stand up my right leg gave out on me. There was a sharp pain in my buttock that shot down my leg to my foot. Sciatica. Fuck. This is the pain I have nightmares about, it’s so bad. Don’t get me wrong, it’s ALL bad but I can cope with a lot of pain. I can work around a lot of it…..well, when its moderate anyway. This pain in my leg is not moderate. I can’t bear weight on my leg and I can’t move the hip or knee joint without causing all sorts of agony. I can’t move at all really. It came and went on the weekend….the nerve would settle down and as long as I was very careful I could get around without too much trouble. Today, it was mostly ‘on’ until I was in the elevator (going up one floor! I was being super kind to my body so this wouldn’t happen). I was standing there, not moving or twisting in some strange fashion when..twang..agony. I literally had to cling to the walls and hobble out to my car. I could barely stand to hit the gas or brake on my drive home, but I expected it to settle like it had before. Shit out of luck on that one, it seems. Since I’ve been home I have been unable to move, let alone stand. Every movement makes me cringe and whimper. Standing leaves me breathless and makes me nearly cry. It took me ten minutes to take the 15 steps to the kitchen to make Colt’s supper and in the end I had to get Colt to come help me. I haven’t been able to get up again.
So great. How the hell am I supposed to work around THIS one? Headaches, miserable stomach, pain shooting through my spine and landing all sorts of places…I was having trouble breathing earlier my chest hurt so much. Something is very pinched in there.
I have a cane I’m using but it’s quite useless. Right now, if I hold it with both hands and push down hard enough to take my weight, I can shuffle my feet along a few inches at a time. If I don’t lift my right foot from the floor the pain is mostly in my back and the top of my leg where it meets my pelvis. … well, more in the centre of my butt cheek. Fabulous isn’t it?
Fffffffffasdfl…..WHY? Is someone orchestrating this to make things as difficult as humanly possible to work around?? I’m getting pretty frustrated with this body of mind. (On a side note, the LST at Colt’s school always says ‘FUSS-traited’ which almost makes me giggle and almost makes me want to punch her in the face…oops did I say that out loud?).
I wonder how I will get to work tomorrow. Dayne will freak if I ask him to drive me and Colt. Plus we will never get back in time to miss the sitters closing time if we try to do that. I’m fairly sure I could drive if someone would just carry me to my car and them from my car to my office. Any takers? Maybe I will try to snag a wheelchair.
Just one more resounding cry of frustration for the week. Can hardly wait to see what happens next.
(Okay Grainne stop with the misery. It could be worse. I know. I know…)