I don’t understand any of this. Why is this happening? Does my son have to be an unlikable outcast like me? People want to help but are now tired of him. They need a break from him…I’ve ever heard that phrase applied to one other person before. Me.
I’m home now. Sitting here. I’ve been locked in a fight to the death to find peace and happiness. Actually, I would be happy with either…both seems like too much to ask for. I’ve always held into the hope that things will get better. When I stop to look back at how far I’ve come, all I can see is more pain having been added on. Ten year ago I was depressed and drowning in PTSD symptoms. Now, I have those somewhat under control but I still have them, plus I’m I’m constant pain as my spine crumbles inside me and my son, then only disabled, is now disabled and is taking on the personality of an asshole. Now I have two hot tempers in my house and no one wants to deal with either of them. It all falls back to me. What the hell does everyone think I can do??!
Right now all I’m going to do is cry. And drink. And then get up at 5 am to go to work so I can at least catch up to how behind I was yesterday.
Sleep. I’d rather be there.