A spark of light
The plot thickens….
So, after beating myself up and going over and over what I’ve already done for Colt to make his life easier than it currently is at school, I finally arrived at a place where I realized I needed more facts before condemning myself to the role of ‘rotten mother’. I called the school and spoke with the learning support teacher (she’s been a part of Colt’s schooling since day one). I asked her to give me the run down on Colt’s relationship with this Nathan kid he constantly talks about and the one he scrapped with earlier this week on the playground. What I learned was interesting.
First, Nathan is in grade 8. Colt is in grade 5. The LST told me that Colt’s been wandering over to the grade 8 population, choosing to hang out with them over the kids in his own class, his own age. The kids he’s with have known him since day one and the whole class is so caring and accommodating that Colt has a bit of a sheltered bubble with them. For whatever reason, he wants to hang with the older kids.
She told me that, given a choice, Nathan would not be the kid she would like to see Colt hanging out with. So, in not so many words, he’s not a good influence, which is possibly where some of Colt’s “tough guy” attitude is coming from. She also told me that many of them are being very kind to Colt, giving him jobs to do so he can be involved with their game without him ruining it by not following the rules and trying to make it exactly as he wants it to be, but, that kindness is encouraging him to keep coming back which kids like Nathan are not so happy about.
The story is that Colt wanted to play volleyball with them. Nathan didn’t want him messing up the game so he told Colt to leave them alone. Colt got offended and kicked dirt at Nathan and, after some name calling and escalation, he tried to actually kick him. Nathan grabbed Colt’s foot and pulled, taking him to his seat, hard on the ground. Thank heavens Nathan didn’t sock him right between the eyes….the SLT told me that Nathan has no patience for Colt at all.
Colt was sent to the office and was kept in for the next break and Nathan was spoken to several times, along with a letter that was sent home to his parents explaining the situation. The LST doesn’t think it’s having much effect, but they are diligently following up to ensure something bad doesn’t happen. She, and other’s are going outside to keep an eye on things and when Colt gravitates to the “cool kids” in grade 8, they interfere and redirect him, keeping the older kids in the loop so they understand. I hate that Colt is an annoyance to them but I don’t expect much else from 12 year old kids….I mean, they’re just kids right?
Anyway, that’s the scoop. Colt seems to think Nathan is the coolest thing to walk the earth and he’s trying to hang out with him, completely not seeing the cues he should be seeing because that language is too subtle for my boy. He doesn’t want to play with his peers because they are into playing games with too many rules, talking about hobbies with too much information and hanging out doing nothing, which Colt cannot stand to do; he needs to be engaged almost all of the time. It breaks my heart but is a life lesson that he will eventually have to learn. I’d rather it be in a somewhat controlled environment over say, high school, but it still hurts to know.
I had some good chats with Colt last night, dropping info here and there without being too direct. I told him I understood that he wasn’t just randomly socking kids as he walked down the hall and that his dad and I were sorry for assuming that was the case. He looked relieved but wouldn’t comment much. That’s typical Colt right there.
The roller coaster drops down a hill with a lurch in my gut and now we ride on an even keel again, until tomorrow. It’s not easy, this parenthood business, disabled kid or not. I feel like I go from “omg my kid is going to turn out to be a bully and a jerk!” to “what a sensitive, smart, sweet and kind boy I have” constantly. It’s exhausting. Like the rest of life, I suppose.