Narrow Scope

You know what makes me angry? Well, okay, let’s be fair, not really “ANGRY” but annoyed? I’m sitting here overhearing a conversation between a coworker and her husband on the phone (I can’t help it, she’s right beside me in the kitchen). She is telling her hubs that she’s worried about their daughter who is struggling with raising her two young kids.

“I just keep telling her it’s not forever.” My coworker says. “I can’t do much more for her. I made dinner and took it over four nights last week, cleaned her house and did her laundry on my day off while I watched the peanuts (her loving term for her grand-babies) and I’ve babysat for them five nights out of seven. Can we maybe take the kids for the weekend for her? She’s and *husband* are so stressed out and she calls me in tears nearly every day.”

Hmm. Okay. I get this….I know raising kids is not easy but holy hell, with that amount of help she should be able to at least take care of her own two kids! No one ever helped us…not once. The sitter we have now (who is an angel on earth, let me tell you) is the only person who has ever watched Colt after hours and it was a total of twice in his lifetime. Dayne and I have been out together alone maybe once…twice, possibly, in ten years. No one took him when he was a baby and screamed all the time…

Oh wait. There was a woman I used to work with..Nancy. She came to my house in those first months and took Colt from me…told me to go have a long, hot bath and read a book for a few hours while she took him for a nice long walk in the fresh air. (That just brought tears to my eyes – remembering that. What a wonderful woman she was. I’m going to have to look her up and let her know how much that meant to me.).

I know I’m being a bit judgmental here but the woman has her mom coming over to clean her laundry?!?! I’d pay a fair amount of money to get someone to do that for me. lol. How can someone not adore spending time with their little ones? I know it can be difficult at times; I know kids are exhausting and I know it can feel impossible, but this woman has two healthy, happy little ones who are growing and learning and blossoming into perfect little people. They don’t scream all the time or freak out when they go to Walmart or when things get out of place. They don’t break down because their socks aren’t flat on their feet and they don’t break her heart daily with their struggles. They have friends, go to birthday parties and have fun with their peers. One of them is in school and just got skipped ahead, she’s such a smart little girl. Pardon my French, but fuck you lady. You have nothing to complain about.

(Okay that was my judgmental little rant for the day. I know everyone’s situation is unique and I shouldn’t say these things but come on!! I’m going to see if this coworker of mine would like to adopt me. If Colt had one grandparent who wanted to love him, I’d be over the moon with happiness. Out of the four living ones, not one bothers to even send a card for his birthday).

*Sigh* People.

Out of my system, on with the day. πŸ™‚


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About Grainne

My name is Grainne. This blog has been with me for years now and has served as a journal, a confessional, an outlet and a place for me to create and express my love of life. Thank you for stopping by and for becoming a part of this life long journey of mine. I appreciate every single one of you who takes the time to do so. :)

3 responses to “Narrow Scope”

  1. KittyHere says :

    I am amazed at what this generation of grandparents are doing. There are people who from my point of view did not but that kind of time into raising their children but now do everything for their grandchildren. Delayed guilt

    Sounds like your co-workers daughter must have some real problems — depression? — to need so much from her mom. You are certainly allowed to feel you got short changed regarding family assistance. Hope posting here helped. And know you are incredible coping with so much on your own.

  2. Mental Mama says :

    My mom does damn near that level of stuff for my sister to help with her two kids and my sister is entirely ungrateful. Mom does it so that the kids don’t suffer – my sister is full on insane and won’t acknowledge it. Kids are definitely hard work, but if you’re not willing to do it it, you maybe shouldn’t have them. And I don’t think anyone should expect that level of assistance from anyone but a spouse or partner, and even then, that’s really pushing it.

  3. Charlotte says :

    That really is not fair that Colt doesn’t have his grandparents loving him. That is wrong. 😦

    But… As much as it sounds like your colleague’s daughter is being spoilt by her mother, maybe there’s other stuff going on that means she has very real reasons for not being able to cope? Or perhaps she is just a brat?!

    (We did seeing things from other perspectives today in therapy, can you tell?! Lol!)

    I can understand that it sucks for you to hear that conversation, given your own situation.

    Definitely *sigh* people!

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