A Happier Friday
And it’s Friday. I weighed myself this morning and I was down 5 pounds from two days before. This up and down is insane…I can gain or lose up to 7 pounds over night. I’m sure that’s not normal….I’m thinking water retention? Anyway…I’m a little happier today and my clothes don’t look like they are five sizes too small so I’ll go with it.
Yesterday was a bit of a positive eye opener for me. There was a staff bbq (they hold one every summer at each campus and tons of staff attend. They are really good…burgers, veggie burgers, cold salads and ice cream sandwiches with fresh lemonade. They are funded entirely by the upper management from their pockets….it makes a huge difference to the front line staff, I think. Anyway, I went with some of my new coworkers and while there saw dozens of people I used to work with, of course. Many people hugged me, they were so happy to see me and over and over people told me I looked exactly as I did the last time I saw them, proving that the extra pounds are as irrelevant to others as they are to me when I see someone I used to know.
Rationally, I know it’s ridiculous. I couldn’t care less how much someone weighs and that includes my partner. D could weigh a million and I wouldn’t even notice…..standards seem different for me. I know they shouldn’t be…so weird, how the human mind works sometimes.
I have a friend here who I strive to be more like each day. She has the most amazing sense of self…she is beautiful, confident, strong and give herself credit where credit is due. I’m using her as a mentor, almost. I remember vividly a post she made about a day she felt really good about everything and she phrased her self confidence as feeling “fat and sassy”. It made me smile but also wish so hard that one day I might be able to look at myself and like what I see again, despite looking human with a few extra pounds and (god forbid) signs of normal aging. At least I can see it…that’s got to be a decent first step right? (Thanks Mama…for all the inspiration) xox
I have a meeting with my very super energetic manager today. She’s a fire cracker, this one. She has her hands in everything and micromanages like crazy but, after working with the execs and working around their complex personalities, this one’s a breeze. She’s very kind and has a huge heart…loves her job beyond belief. It makes her very good at it and pretty easy to work for, although she’s rather demanding. Often, she will ask me to complete a task and will actually do it herself while I’m completing it. It wastes a ton of time in duplication but, I can’t complain. It’s better than being dumped on last minute as I’m accustomed to being treated. 🙂
Pain levels are slightly down today. My head hurts still and it feels like my brain is rattling around my head whenever I move but I have so many drugs in my system the pain is tolerable. I wish it would go away, even for half an hour sometime. The break would be so incredible….too many of you guys know exactly what I mean.
Still, it’s a happy day around here. It’s a quiet Friday, it’s a gorgeous day outside and everyone I’ve seen so far is smiling, me included.
Hope your day is wonderful, my friends. Here’s to clearer vision and loving ourselves for the unique, beautiful beings we are.