I’m ready.

My new job training is finally over and I feel like I have some sort of idea of what my job is comprised of and how to accomplish it. What I don’t know I will learn as I go. The woman who I am replacing was so kind to me and genuinely attempted to unload all of her knowledge in the shirt time she had. She told me it was for the staff as much as for me; she wanted a seamless for them. What a kind woman she is. The lovely gal has managed to retire at 55 which is a dream not many get to accomplish and enjoy. She told me several times that the only reason she’s doing it so early is because her husband will be working for another ten years at least…lol. She is one who enjoys having the freedom to do as she chooses. :). happy for her. She has left behind some big shoes for me to fill.

D has been amazing these last two weeks while I’ve been trying to soak in all this new info while trying to deal with Colt’s swearing spree at school. Thank god school is now done for the summer …. We can at least drop that stress for a couple of months since school is the only place that sort of behaviour arises. Therapies and such this summer will hopefully help him find some better ways to cope and we can worry about grade five when it gets here. They did a super job I’d prepping Colt this year, about the upcoming changes to his school routine. They not only identified his teacher for us (they NEVER do that…disclose that info early. Things change so often in the beginning of the school year) they also made a book with her name, photo, classroom set up, etc so he can get a preview of what will be different. This is something he may have benefited from greatly in the previous years,unfortunately we did not have such a dedicated and helpful learning support teacher in those years. She’s done such a good job for Colt and I made sure she knew how much it is appreciated. It’s the people like her who make such a difference in Colt’s life and future.

My dreams have been a mess of work, fears of messing up before I even get started and the regular random crap that always fills my nights. For days I was dreaming in loops about being ignored and neglected. In several dreams I’ve been wandering around sobbing hysterically about things that we’re causing me enormous pain while everyone who saw me completely ignored the tears. People would come to me and start telling me about their weekend while I shook and sobbed, barely able to catch my breath. They all ignored my heart ache, tears and sadness…everyone. It was like it was all invisible.

That one dream ended well though because D was sleeping on the couch opposite to mine and had heard my nocturnal mum earrings and cries. He squashes himself next to me on my couch and wrapped me in his arms to soothe me. It was hot as hell but as I woke I could smell him and felt arms at once; it brought such comfort. I snuggled in close (I wasn’t soaked in night sweats…yay!!) and we fell asleep entwined. I can’t remember the last time we fell asleep cuddling. I’m either overheating and can’t stand to have anyone near me or he’s not feeling snugly.

We’re not the most cuddly of people, D and I, so when we get a good one in it seems to heal so much. He’s already asked me to try hard to get to the bed tonight rather than crashing on the couches so we can touch in the night…make love when the mood strikes us….sweaty or not. Lol. Sounds magical to me. He makes me feel beautiful and loved and very, very lucky.

Things are lookin up, my friends. Here’s to a lovely weekend. Xx. I. It’s you guys!! Looking forward to engaging some more one that I’ll have a little of my time back through the day. 🙂


About Grainne

My name is Grainne. This blog has been with me for years now and has served as a journal, a confessional, an outlet and a place for me to create and express my love of life. Thank you for stopping by and for becoming a part of this life long journey of mine. I appreciate every single one of you who takes the time to do so. :)

2 responses to “I’m ready.”

  1. KittyHere says :

    Glad to read that Colt made it to the end of his school year and that you have that stress behind you. May he enjoy the summer as you settle into the new job routine.

  2. rootstoblossom says :

    So much goodness in this post, drink up all that lovely healing snugliness and comfort

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