Well that didn’t go so well….

Between the time I dug in my heels and decided I was going to tough it out another day and an hour later, I found myself on my knees in the bathroom barfing up all the water I’ve had this morning (in an effort to help settle my stomach which has been protesting for a day or so). The pain was just too much. It’s not localized so it’s hard to ignore … wide spread and moving makes it work in so many different ways. My hands were not functioning but it was more my head and neck that I couldn’t take….that driving, constant pain was making me so nauseous. After praying to the porcelain god for a while I made my way back to the office and started going through my purse looking for something to help. I have a few percs in there, some ativan…emergency meds for situations like this. I found a muscle relaxer and after a few moments decided I just couldn’t do it today. I had to give myself a break. I took the damn thing and I feel like a failure….like I tried to quit smoking and failed, or something of that sort. I just couldn’t take the pain plus vomiting. Seriously…been there, done that. No point in full out torturing myself. I already know that this is the med that makes me sleep all the time so I guess my little experiment was partially successful anyway.

It didn’t even take 30 minutes to take effect – I’ve just run down to get a peppermint tea to help my tummy and by the time I picked it up and worried about dropping it I realized that my hands were stronger. The warmth felt good on the joints too…carried it all the way up here with no trouble.

My headache is coming down to a very tolerable level, my shoulders are letting go, my arms and hands are not throbbing anymore. Everything is fuzzing over and the strain…the ache…the weird feeling like no blood is moving in my upper body….all melting away with only 20 mg of flexeril. Like everything else in life, it’s a risk/benefit ratio right? Excessive sleep for this sort of relief? Worth it. I’ll look into trying a new muscle relaxer next time I see my doc to see if I can get a handle on the exhaustion but wow….that was quite eye opening. From that level of pain to relief (the pain isn’t gone by any stretch but it’s so very much reduced, I’m almost in tears). Amazing.

I told D I had given in and took one by text. His response?

“Baby, I don’t care about how much you weigh. I cannot stand to see you suffering…the weight is worth it. I’ll love you forever, no matter what.”

*Happy sighs* I’m a lucky lady.

I’ve just connected with a new blog friend who has some great ideas for toning and reducing cellulite from my body and she suffers from chronic pain as well. I’m going to try her ideas out rather than messing with meds for now. The sleeping will remain an issue….going to have to try some new avenues for that one. I really don’t want to miss the entire summer to useless sleep.


About Grainne

My name is Grainne. This blog has been with me for years now and has served as a journal, a confessional, an outlet and a place for me to create and express my love of life. Thank you for stopping by and for becoming a part of this life long journey of mine. I appreciate every single one of you who takes the time to do so. :)

2 responses to “Well that didn’t go so well….”

  1. KittyHere says :

    Gotta do what you got to do. D said it right.

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