A moment before I sleep. At 430 pm.

Hey all. So I find myself with an extra 15 minutes before I drop off the face of the earth at 4:38 PM and I wanted to type a blog so I logged onto my computer to discover that it’s broken. I don’t know if I have a virus or if there’s something wrong with the Internet but if you’ve known me for a while, you’ll know that there is almost always something wrong with my Internet so I’m not terribly concerned. I’m going to try to text this entry into my iPhone which is not a favorite pastime of mine. If it comes out all garbled and stupid sounding please forgive me.

So the new job is going fine. I am having fun learning the new skills and people are actually kind of nice so it’s a whole different environment from where I came from. Mind you, these people get paid a hell of a lot more than my old cohorts did. Being back in the hospital on a clinical unit is a real eye-opener now that all the reductions of been put in place and there’s all different systems. We are right now in the middle of changing our entire paper patient record over to an electronic record. They have connected all of the hospitals in our area so it’s actually quite an endeavor. Being on the corporate side of things,
of course, I saw all of the budgetary information but didn’t have a real sense of what it was actually like for the providers on the floor. Some people, like the younger nurses and the new residents fellows and physicians, actually quite like the changes as they were trained in a more electronic age. The older physicians nurses and providers however, are struggling with the technology. The hospital, or maybe more so the ministry, has pumped hundreds of thousands and possibly millions of dollars into this changeover. It will be interesting to see it unfold at the very least.

As for the pain, it’s still there and I’m still struggling. I’m still hopeful that the additional movement and activity around me will eventually help with the pain, I’m not entirely sure how long I’ll have to wait until it subsides, but as for now it’s quite monumental. My stomach is in shreds and I don’t know if it’s from the additional stress of having to learn all of this new information but I’m having to take twice as much stomach medication I was before. I’m thinking of trying
to see my doctor to see if I can find something else that might work for a while. Right now, I need to concentrate on hiding the pain and problems that I have so that I can, at the very least keep this job until I find something full-time permanent, hopefully long before September. I am truly not sure if I’m going to be able to make it but I can’t think of any reason not to try.

When I get home I pretty much managed to get Colt settled and then I fall sleep for the day. It’s leaving me with no time to do anything. The House is a mess except for The things D can help with, the outside is a mess because I haven’t had a chance to pick anything up from the winter, I don’t have any clean clothes cause I can’t manage to get any laundry done, and I haven’t even been able to stay in touch with my friends via email and I can barely update my blog. Next week I have some more time on my own in the office and I was thinking it would allow me to catch up on a few things but I’m worried that I’ll end up spending even more time trying to figure everything out.

So I’m a crummy housekeeper and pretty much a crummy mother cause I barely see my kid and I’m trying desperately to learn this new job while existing in incredible pain and carrying around this exhaustion. Doesn’t seem to matter how much I sleep but as long as it’s around 12 hours I can function for most of the rest of the day. So that’s about where I am now. I haven’t been able to email any of my friends and I’m starting to feel really bad so I decided to email them all back short reply tonight, update my blog and then just give up and go to sleep and start again tomorrow.

One good thing is that human resources seems to have listened to my concerns and they’ve agreed to continue helping me some. I don’t know if that’s going to be until September when this job closes or whether it’s only going to be until the end of May, but I’m still getting layoff preference … which really got me nothing in the first place but, help is help in whatever form it comes.

So as exciting is that was that is about my life just now. I’m hoping and hoping and hoping that next week as my schedule settles the pain will calm down, my clarity will come back and I’ll actually be able to engage in life again rather than just sleeping and working. The caliber of people I’m surrounded by is really making a difference, they seem to be caring compassionate people. Some are bitchy and want to complain but because I have over 300 people in my department now the pickings are a little bit less slim than they used to be. It’s definitely been a Great change.

To all my wonderful blog friends, thank you for sticking this out with me. I haven’t had a chance to catch up on your blogs or to read your comments but I promise I will do so as soon as I am able.

Over and out for now. Xx. Sorry again, for the probable terrible grammar spelling and punctuation errors. I’m stuck with this iPhone for now and I’m too tired to pick through and make sure it’s all perfect.

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About Grainne

My name is Grainne. This blog has been with me for years now and has served as a journal, a confessional, an outlet and a place for me to create and express my love of life. Thank you for stopping by and for becoming a part of this life long journey of mine. I appreciate every single one of you who takes the time to do so. :)

One response to “A moment before I sleep. At 430 pm.”

  1. KittyHere says :

    Thanks for letting us know how the job is going. Transitions stress anyone and you have a bunch of additional challenges. So accept it. No apologies. Self care, Colt, household stuff. The blog and emails can wait.

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