Well, I’m not sure how that went. It was a panel interview of four, three of the docs who work in the department and the HR consultant involved in the position recruitment. Three of the four loved me…I could read them loud and clear. Lots of smiles and nods, when I didn’t answer the questions exactly as they wanted they would rephrase and ask again. Most of their questions were quite carefully aimed…I think they had some trouble with the last person in the position and they wanted to eliminate the chance of getting someone else like her…? They asked if I work with my door open or closed. I mean, they must have had some trouble there. I said open, of course, which is true.
The one who disliked me on sight (and he did, I hadn’t even opened my mouth) was not thrilled that i didn’t have the exact experience required for the job. I repeated over and over that I had no trouble resourcing information and finding processes that worked in the past. I don’t need much hand holding at work. I’m not entirely sure how someone could have the expertise that one department is looking for when they’ve never worked in the department, however, I did my best to answer their questions honestly. I didn’t want to over-promise anything because that would be a sure-fire way to fail.
So, three out of four isn’t bad, but…not sure if it will win me the job. Fingers crossed (I don’t feel very good about it so I don’t expect a call). 😦
I’m having terrible dreams (surprise surprise) and my anxiety is climbing day by day. I picked up my prescription yesterday…just one of them was well over $300. If I lose my employment entirely I’m fucked. No pain control will leave me unable to get out of bed. This is really stressful and I don’t know what to do. Should I be applying for the jobs that are WAY below my salary? What would be the point of that? We’d not even be able to afford our rent….and that brings about more anxiety. I do not want to pull Colt from his school where he is surrounded by (mostly) amazing kids who make him feel like he’s part of something. They are kind and attentive…they’ve known each other since they were five. 😦 To move elsewhere and leave this school zone would be heartbreaking and terrible for Colt’s stability. His psychiatrist told us that we should try to keep him there until highschool, at the very least. He’s only in grade four. We cant’ afford to buy a place (anywhere) in the town we live in … hell, we can’t even afford to rent in town NOW… if I take $10 less an hour we’ll be screwed every way I can think of.
Little panic there. I thought things would go better yesterday. (God I’m nearly in tears and it’s only 9:19am. My nameplate was removed yesterday and they’ve taken me off all the org charts and committee lists. This is so embarrassing. Most of the hospital doesn’t know I have no job to go to so I’m trying to tell as many people as I can. I don’t know what else to do. This is really shitty.
There are no jobs I could apply for listed today. Zero. Well, one that’s so far below my salary range I could likely make the same working part time. 😦 What am I going to do? *cries* This is scary. My whole life was build around having this security. I hate feeling so … adrift.
Ah well. On to my boring, humiliating clerical tasks for the day. Maybe I’ll take tomorrow off. The director doesn’t care what I do and now no one needs me here. (I really want to go home).