Shock, Surprise and Validation
OOkay. So. Apparently, I have a pretty good reputation around here.
The boss sent out his notice letting everyone know my position has been eliminated on Thursday when I returned to work. I sent out several email to an assortment of folks who I have worked with in the past, asking them to please keep an eye out for me. What I received in return blew my mind. I don’t even know what the emotion I was overwhelmed by was called.
As the news spread through the hospital, my phone started ringing, emails came flooding in, personal cell phone went off too, text and voice calls. There were kind thoughts from so many people, but even better? Everyone was concerned! They all offered encouragement and hope..most of them said they’d keep an eye open for new jobs that will possibly be posting in their respective departments and said something along the lines of “don’t worry, we will find you something!” Then, astonishingly, I started receiving phone calls and email from people offering to give me a reference. I have *never* seen anything like this before….not for me, or for anyone. I mean, I’ve seen a few students pick up casual jobs (no guarantee on hours) that were created just so they could become employees by some nice manager, but never have I seen the likes of this.
Of course, I echoed the info that was in my directors email blast – due to staffing needs, blah blah blah. People knew already how difficult my job and the people I have to work around and with could be. They all knew I’d need references that did not come from inside my department, and some really amazing people came through for me. There are other directors, VP’s, physician leaders and front line staff…everyone is pulling for me. You could knock me over with a feather right now. People just don’t stand up for other people in my world. Everyone is too afraid to rock the boat and fearful that they’ll lose their own jobs, which is completely understandable, but not here and not now…right now, there are people who make five times my salary asking around to see if anyone needs a support person. I’ve been fed phone numbers from community physicians and clinics where they are looking for office staff…the one I called to inquire about said they didn’t even need to interview me, the doc who referred me had already told them how good I was. (Sorry what now?!) My goodness, this has been a surreal kind of day. 🙂
So, apparently, I am known as a kind hearted, easy going, easy to work with, funny, endearing and warm individual who can make anyone comfortable, if given enough time and info. I’m “known” as being one who can deal with difficult personalities with grace and decorum. No one fucking cares that I was two weeks late on a business card order. NO ONE! No one cares what my current boss thinks about me and everyone remembers my smile, my warmth and (you’ll never guess this one…seriously, I laughed when I heard ti) my upbeat, optimistic personality. (okay, in full truth, I’m not sure that one knows me as well as she thinks she does…mind you, she’s really crazy about me for some reason. This one would sit there and listen to me talk about Colt all day and all night with a smile on her face.)
Sooo yeah. I’m pretty happy with the things I’ve learned. The bad stuff that was generated between the department here and I is pretty much contained to here. I can escape it by finding something better…I mean, there are a lot of people looking for a job for me right now. It helps just knowing that…it helps a lot. (I know I know I shouldn’t base my self-worth on the opinions of others but screw it…they’re positive opinions for once! lol!
So. Thursday I found out about the ‘meeting’ between my director and his minions. Friday, I approached him to see what was up, having received zero feedback/info on the matter, and he avoided me. Monday, he avoided me again. Tuesday, he let me know he was eliminating my position. I took Wednesday off, came back full force on Thursday (only a few tears shed then) and Friday. Between Thursday and now a whole crowd of supporters emerged from the fog surrounding me, carrying letters of recommendation and reference offers. They’re trying to connect me with anyone who will hire me…they keep telling me over and over that it’s “their loss” when speaking of my current department.
I have a lot of friends here who think highly of me. I had no idea how many or how much until now.
I have a wonderful partner in D and an amazing son in Colt, both of whom love me more than anything. I love them both back, exactly the same.
I have blog friends who really, truly care! Some are new and some have been around since the start but I’ve found nothing but compassion, empathy, understanding and kindness in you guys. I feel so lucky to have you all in my life.
(Okay, I know its pretty easy to feel great about yourself when everyone around you is cheering your name, but did anyone else notice that I barely stumbled over this? I was devastated the first day and for half of the second day, then I picked up, shook off and went right back at it. And it worked!!! Holy smokes, I think I’m actually getting better!!!!)
Hooray for today! Much love, to all my friends, supporters and colleagues alike. You’re all making me so much stronger, I don’t even have the words to properly thank you. xox