I trusted him

I TRUSTED him, the jackass. I told him my most vulnerable secret and he never once asked if I was okay. He just nodded and lied to my face….even today; he made some bullshit show out of caring about “me the person” suddenly. He kept going on about me going home and asked what I had to do today, what he should cover. I said it was fine, went back to my office and locked the door. I texted my coworker to bring me some Kleenex, I texted D, Drew and wrote blog so people would know and then I just sat there.

I heard them murmuring in his office beforehand. Don’t bring all these things up, she said, telling him that he didn’t need to justify himself to me.

He drove with me to a meeting last week, spent the ride staring straight ahead, talking away about the cruise he and his family will be taking shortly. He sounded excited. Knew he had to get rid of me before he left.

I didn’t do anything wrong. Well, I made a few clerical errors I shouldn’t have but they were not big ones, by a long shot. He didn’t like me. He never liked me…we always had a weird edge. I didn’t click with the office girls either. One I knew from before but the others fuss around with juicing diets and Zumba classes and plan their vacations and family reunions with their perfect healthy well adapted children. *sigh*.

No one ever likes me. I should never have pretended that they did…should never have shown that weakness. 😦

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About Grainne

My name is Grainne. This blog has been with me for years now and has served as a journal, a confessional, an outlet and a place for me to create and express my love of life. Thank you for stopping by and for becoming a part of this life long journey of mine. I appreciate every single one of you who takes the time to do so. :)

11 responses to “I trusted him”

  1. Hope says :

    I like you a lot, and I always will. I know that doesn’t undo his horrible mistreatment of you, though. I hate him on your behalf. Is there anything I can do to help? I’m here for you ANY time, really. ❤

  2. paindepression says :

    I like you very much and am grateful you are in my life! I wish I could do something to help you…

  3. stunnedandstunted says :

    Aw, I like you. I am so sorry to read about what’s going on. I wish it was better for you.

  4. KittyHere says :

    Grannie you needed out of this job. Yes I know you needed the paycheck and the benefits but…the crap from boss, co-workers, and having to push yourself beyond the limit physically and mentally no way.

    Remember the things you have written about D getting away from a bad workplace? Now picture that change for yourself.

    As far as no one likes you, forget it. They, boss especially , are scared of what they see: “what if that happen to me, my wife, my daughter?” The problem is bigger than you. I watched a very smart (too smart for bosses ego) solution based ( not just wait for orders) academic assistant “bite the dust.” And it was always an exit short of dismissal requiring the institution to “shell out.” Life is not fair, but you deserve to exhale, let the boss assist and cover (teach the man something– since your job is eliminated he is going to have to pick up at least some of your duties) take it easy on yourself.

    If possible (I stink at this) stop looking back. Just look ahead. You have survived worse. You have D (oh yes you do) and you have Colton (be a good model for your son.)

  5. Mental Mama says :

    HEY!!! I happen to like you very much! Your boss is a dick. You’ve been talking about wanting out of that poisonous environment for awhile now – this is the universe kicking you in the pants and telling you it’s time to make it happen.

    You can do this. I believe in you. Everyone who reads this blog believes in you. D believes in you. Colt believes in you. Now YOU need to believe in you.

    I love you – get to it.

    • Grainne says :

      You’re freaking amazing. You know that? Thank you, and the universe, for the butt kick. I know this could be the change I needed to make my life better. Sometimes change needs to be forced. I’m going to look back in a short while and this will mean nothing. Just another of life’s experiences.

      Much love to you too. Xx

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