Catchy Titles Not Happening Today

*Yawns*  I’m tired today.  I don’t know when I fell asleep…I remembering eating some rice for dinner (D has been cooking up a storm with all his new kitchen toys from Christmas.  I got him a rice cooker because it’s the one thing he hates cooking and it was a GREAT idea!  lol..I get rice all the time now.  Last nights was coconut and tumeric with a pinch of saffron and some soy sauce).  My stomach seems to be good with it … I’ve been feeling slightly less terrible GI-wise since the weekend where I ate a ton of rice, again.  Happily on to something here.  🙂

I slept on the couch last night so I could stay warm with my blanket (electric) but the temps plummeted again so I kept waking, freezing and soaked in sweat.  The side of me on the heat was okay but the side facing up would get cold and once the cold damp set in I would start shivering, flip, start again.  It was rather exhausting…I think I’m going to try the bed again tonight.  A coworker just sold me two very expensive sleeping bags for 20$ each so I’m going to give that a shot.  I’ll make one big sleeping bag to share with D and see if the breathability is as good as advertised.  Might help, might not but I’m willing to try it.  Plus, I’ll get some action before we sleep if I make a little next for D and I to cuddle in.  (yaaay!).

Speaking of the bedroom…Having more sex is definitely helping some of the pain…or rather, maybe it’s helping my ability to cope with it. Either way, endorphins, yay!  Sometimes I just want to be on the other side of the room from people when I’m sweaty and freezing and clammy feeling….I don’t want cuddles or feel someone’s hand slide off my damp skin…but D’s been forcing me to accept his affections anyway.  He’s not being pushy and isn’t doing it for a long time, but when I pull back he stops me, kisses me, tells me it’s okay, he doesn’t mind, he wants to hold me anyway.  So thankful for this man.

I have a little thing for stockings and knee-high socks in bright colours or patterns…there’s something sensuous about it to me.  D knows and is bringing me home little gifts…knee high socks with pink stripes and little scotty dogs on the rim; black sheer stockings with patterns throughout.  He bought a pair of work out pants for himself in the same sort of material as the wintery tights he’s buying me to see if I liked the feeling on him too.  He never wears things like that but in the bedroom it felt very nice to slide over each other wrapped in a thin layer of fabric.  I dunno…not really a fetish but it’s a sensation that feels lovely and I’m on the look out for as many of those as I can find these days.  Pleasure counter acts pain.  I need to fill my time with good feelings so that the pain doesn’t win…doesn’t overwhelm.

That said, the clock is about to turn to 11am and my pain meds are wearing off.  I’m going to double dose today and ask for an increase when I see my doc on Thursday, provided my liver enzymes have settled.  Maybe that will help with the day and allow me more opportunities for pleasure seeking.  Here’s hoping, anyway.  x

Right now I’m going to take a little walk (feels good) to make a hot cup of peppermint tea (feels good in my stomach and I love the taste) before getting started on my project for the day which I will finish (feels awesome) and I can go home knowing I’ve been productive and good to myself at the same time.

That’s the plan, anyway.  😉



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About Grainne

My name is Grainne. This blog has been with me for years now and has served as a journal, a confessional, an outlet and a place for me to create and express my love of life. Thank you for stopping by and for becoming a part of this life long journey of mine. I appreciate every single one of you who takes the time to do so. :)

3 responses to “Catchy Titles Not Happening Today”

  1. paindepression says :

    Love the cheer in your words! You are so right, pleasure counter acts pain!

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