Painful Weekend; Painful Monday

I didn’t do so well this weekend.  I was okay Friday night… wait..I fell asleep at 7 on the couch.  I woke up at 1100 when the guys got home from swimming lessons and made it to two grocery stores before returning home and dropping immediately onto the couch.  My face hurt so much I begged D to massage it and he did an amazing job on my shoulders, neck and then all around my face and skull.  My jaw joint hurts all the time but it’s the strange bits that are so taxing.  Behind my ears is a particularly bad spot..forehead, temples, cheeks…D said he’d never seen so much tension in someone’s face/head before.  The massage hurt, a lot, but when he let go there was some relief.  Of course, I passed out shortly afterwards (5:00 pm ish) and although D dragged me to my feet a few times trying to wake me, I was unable to wake up and slept until noon on Sunday.  I managed to get up and get a few loads of laundry done and then it was back on the couch and out by 9:00.

**Someone please explain how I could possibly still be tired?!**  I’m sitting here in my office desperately trying not to fall asleep at my desk.  Vision is blurring and I’m sweating, overheating…the pain meds worked for about an hour today and now I’m facing the decision to either take more meds and risk spacing out or suffer through this for a few more hours first.  I’m not really able to concentrate on work in this state.

I ate a banana and had a can of Pepsi hoping for a miracle but now I just feel nauseous and pass-out exhausted.  Plus the pain.  So tired.

Uhmmmm so yeah.  That’s me today folks.  As the minutes tick by I’m one moment closer to my bed again.  That makes me happy.  (What is it about work that does this to me?  It must be the heat?  It’s very hot in this place…we’re heated by steam so it’s a damp heat as well.)  I think I’ll open a window, walk down the halls for a few minutes, have a few more meds.  See if I can’t turn this day around.


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About Grainne

My name is Grainne. This blog has been with me for years now and has served as a journal, a confessional, an outlet and a place for me to create and express my love of life. Thank you for stopping by and for becoming a part of this life long journey of mine. I appreciate every single one of you who takes the time to do so. :)

9 responses to “Painful Weekend; Painful Monday”

  1. Mental Mama says :

    I’m obviously not a doc, so this is just a thought – is your anti-depressant really working? The only time I’ve ever felt like sleeping that much was when I was depressed and not being properly treated. Again, just my opinion based on what I’ve been through – and I’m certainly not you.

    I am really sorry to hear that you had such an unpleasant weekend, but glad to hear that D continues to take really good care of you.

    How goes the “find Grainne a different job” adventure going? Any luck yet?

    • Grainne says :

      That’s a great point Mama, but it’s not depression that’s holding me under. I didn’t start sleeping 15 hours at a time until after the pain settled in and stayed for good. The antidepressant I’m on I’ve been on for years and, as you suggest, it’s probably not working very well but my doc hesitates to change it. I don’t feel depressed…not even anxious, just downright exhausted. I think it’s just from dealing with the pain all the time…keeping myself focused and together while at work, then when I get home I’m so beat I can’t keep my eyes open.

      Last weekend I was feeling great and went for a 40 min walk in the woods with my boys. When we got home I lay down to rest my head (it’s being upright that is so painful – supporting my head on my neck). I zoned out that day…recall D talking to me but I couldn’t answer then I slept for 14 hours, exhausted.

      Feels like my body shuts down whether I want it to or not. *blinks* Can’t keep my eyes open just now.

      So yeah, the pain has been particularly bad since the deep freeze hit, worse when the temps fluctuated, and is now just wearing me down. Hopefully my doc will raise my meds or I’ll eventually catch enough rest to make it beyond an 8 hour work day. :S Here’s hoping anyway.

      There are a bunch of new postings coming out at work in the next few weeks as we expand a few of the departments close to me. I’ll be handing out resumes like lollipops to see what I get offered. 😉 Thanks for asking…keeps me focused on moving forward. xoxo

  2. stunnedandstunted says :

    I think you’re amazing for even going to work despite all of the pain you’re in. I hope your day turns around. 🙂

    • Grainne says :

      Hey thanks! It’s not easy getting here every day and I really appreciate that 🙂 In all honesty, I need to work..if I didn’t I would likely never get out of bed and things would only get worse from there. Plus, I take really expensive medications and working here I’m covered to 90%. Trying to take it one day at a time. xx Thanks so much.

  3. S. says :

    Hey G.,
    Ugh. I am sorry you are having this kind of day. And, damn, do I ever empathize. About the sleeping…
    I recently attended a four week pain program and obviously one of the things they covered was sleep habits. With chronic pain, for the majority of people, there will be sleep issues, but contrary to my belief at least, you either sleep way too much or not enough. Pain is exhausting on your body.
    What meds are you on? Have you been on long acting ones? Regulating your med level is one of the best ways to avoid the fluctuation in pain level. If you’d like to chat privately please feel free to email.

    – S.

  4. Pete says :

    Hey Twin,

    With your tiredness: *Look for recent changes*

    It’s your Liver that’s making you so tired and I guess you’ll have to ride it out until it starts being nice to you again.

    Keep strong, Love to D and C,

    Pete xo

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