It’s nearing 3pm and I’m fighting to stay standing

As the day has progressed, as per norm, the pain has crept back to full power.  The meds I’m on are supposed to be 12 hours but when the dose isn’t high enough the time shortens, of course.  I’ve pushed it as far as I can and now I have to take another dose.  I’m not supposed to take it until 800 this evening with will leave me hurting before bed again….but there’s not much else I can do.  I have no short acting pain killers now aside from over the counter crap that does nothing at all.  The worst part is that I’ve pushed it too far today and already have a raging headache and a very sore neck/shoulder/collarbone area.  No amount of stretching or moving will help now…not that it ever does.  It was when the nausea hit that I figured I’d better do something but, that too was discovered too late.  Now it’s a waiting game to see if I can keep the pain killer down long enough to process it some before I get sick and stuck in a merciless cycle of pain and sweating, shaking and barfing.

….yaaaay.  😦

I’m trying not to sit here and rock back and forth at my desk like I’ve gone looney but I can’t stay still and I can’t let go of my head for longer than a few moments or it feels like my brain is about to burst through my skull.  These headaches are really hard to cope with in a dark, calm room with an ice pack on my neck let alone in my overwarm office with fluorescent lights blaring down on me.

I’m still feeling okay emotionally but that familiar exhaustion is sitting behind my eyes.  I’m not going to make it long tonight before I fall asleep, that’s for sure.  An ice pack to my neck, more meds along with a few muscle relaxers, a heated blanket for the rest of me and I’m going to be out like a light.  Thankfully tomorrow is Friday.

This driving pain is terrible.  I wish I could manage without throwing up or breaking out in a clammy sweat while my body tries desperately to turn off and sleep.  It’s about all I want right now.

Still happy.  Still thankful.  Just really exhausted and I need to rest.  *head down on desk*  One more hour to go.

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About Grainne

My name is Grainne. This blog has been with me for years now and has served as a journal, a confessional, an outlet and a place for me to create and express my love of life. Thank you for stopping by and for becoming a part of this life long journey of mine. I appreciate every single one of you who takes the time to do so. :)

12 responses to “It’s nearing 3pm and I’m fighting to stay standing”

  1. Mental Mama says :

    I hope you make it sweetie, I’ll be sending good thoughts your way.

  2. stunnedandstunted says :

    Do you have Friday off work? I hope you are able to get some sleep and that the pain eases off.

  3. awomaninpain says :

    I hope you found relief from somewhere?

    • Grainne says :

      Thank you so much. I made it home and put some ice on my neck, heating blanket on full blast. My beautiful little boy (he’s autistic and so so sensitive) got me a bottle of water and put his hand on my forehead, soothing me. I was well taken care of. His dad got home at five and I passed out until this morning. Feeling a lot better…I’ll just have to remember to take something this afternoon before it gets out of hand again.

      Hope today is a good one for you!

  4. Pete says :

    You’ll make it because you’re the toughest woman I’ve ever know. I do feel you need some short acting pain killers so you can keep them down long enough to work, otherwise hang in there. I’m doing the same, we both have to xoxoxo

    • Grainne says :

      Of course we are doing the same again Pete. Never fails to amaze me. I have so many email started and unfinished to you….I’ll get on that. I miss you.

      • Pete says :

        I miss you too, you amaze me with your courage and then my agony and fatigue is shared with my beautiful twin soul xo. Together we’d be a weapon (or result) of mass destruction 😉

  5. S. says :

    Oh darling! I feel this pain. Lol, actually I am never still. You mentioned you arentnsure what I am dealing with and I suppose the post you read really didn’t touch on it… Well… I hurt my back in 2010, four years, two spinal fusion surgeries and a crap load of pain later my future health is still uncertain. I am waiting for my spine to fuse… Basically I have to grow a ton of bone in my back and I am not growing any 16 months out of my latest survey. Anyway, just thohgt I’d clue you in.
    Chronic Pain is a harsh mistress. I am sorry you have to deal with it. However info think it adds abvertain depth to your life I know I wouldn’t have otherwise. It pushes you to your limit and then a little bit further. But it also shows you what’s truly important in life and who is and should be in your life for the right reasons.
    I look forward to reading more.
    Best,
    Xo – S.

    • Grainne says :

      So, so true. I have a similar situation going on. I have bad degeneration of discs all through my spine, worst is C1-C7. I have nerves involved everywhere and several herniations and bulges. The cervical spinal issues are so rotten..causes such pain in my head and upper body. Working at this day by day. I just recently found out all that is wrong with my spine after years of testing and medication trials. I suspect you and I will become fast friends here…so relatable, our stories are.

      Really happy to meet you here. xo Grainne

      • S. says :

        Indeed. I like your writing style so it’ll help with the immense amount I’d reading I am about to do. 😉
        Xo – S.

      • Grainne says :

        LOL! Looking forward to catching up on your story too. You are also a very good writer…makes the read so much fun, even when the topic is hard.

  6. Pete says :

    Hey you sweet one, would love an e-mail 🙂

    Pete xo

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