It’s nearing 3pm and I’m fighting to stay standing
As the day has progressed, as per norm, the pain has crept back to full power. The meds I’m on are supposed to be 12 hours but when the dose isn’t high enough the time shortens, of course. I’ve pushed it as far as I can and now I have to take another dose. I’m not supposed to take it until 800 this evening with will leave me hurting before bed again….but there’s not much else I can do. I have no short acting pain killers now aside from over the counter crap that does nothing at all. The worst part is that I’ve pushed it too far today and already have a raging headache and a very sore neck/shoulder/collarbone area. No amount of stretching or moving will help now…not that it ever does. It was when the nausea hit that I figured I’d better do something but, that too was discovered too late. Now it’s a waiting game to see if I can keep the pain killer down long enough to process it some before I get sick and stuck in a merciless cycle of pain and sweating, shaking and barfing.
I’m trying not to sit here and rock back and forth at my desk like I’ve gone looney but I can’t stay still and I can’t let go of my head for longer than a few moments or it feels like my brain is about to burst through my skull. These headaches are really hard to cope with in a dark, calm room with an ice pack on my neck let alone in my overwarm office with fluorescent lights blaring down on me.
I’m still feeling okay emotionally but that familiar exhaustion is sitting behind my eyes. I’m not going to make it long tonight before I fall asleep, that’s for sure. An ice pack to my neck, more meds along with a few muscle relaxers, a heated blanket for the rest of me and I’m going to be out like a light. Thankfully tomorrow is Friday.
This driving pain is terrible. I wish I could manage without throwing up or breaking out in a clammy sweat while my body tries desperately to turn off and sleep. It’s about all I want right now.
Still happy. Still thankful. Just really exhausted and I need to rest. *head down on desk* One more hour to go.