I know…could I come up with a more catchy title?  (Answer – no).  I’m not quite working in sync with my brain yet today.  I feel like I’ve missed something but I’ve taken all my meds.   Even went home to double check before heading into work.  Weird feeling…but hell, not much of anything that happens to me is normal these days.

I fell asleep early last night and dreamed and dreamed.  D and I have moved to a new place in dreams and we’re having fun finding all the little cubby holes and storage spots.  In the kitchen there is a row of built-in drawers, tiny in size, that pull out to expose slots for different spices.  It’s a really neat idea….I think I’ll see about getting something like that for D for Christmas since he’s using all sorts of new spices in his cooking.  He’s been looking into different spices to see if any have healing properties or seem to help arthritis and pain and has discovered that turmeric is used widely to treat my symptoms homeopathically.  He’s been adding turmeric to almost everything we eat…good thing we love the taste…and although I’ve not seen any specific improvement yet, it certainly won’t hurt.  D’s really been kicking in over the last month and doing all he can to help me out.  It doesn’t feel forced or bitter…he actually seems to want to make me feel better if he can.  It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.  I’m lucky to have this man, even for all his flaws and broken bits (who am I to talk?!  Lol).

{I just looked down and realized my shirt was on backwards.  *sigh*}

So yeah…dreaming of a new place with D.  I’ve had dreams like this before in different locations but this one seems especially interesting.  We’ve been in the place for a short while but almost everything has been put in its place, messy-organized as always (lived in, I prefer to call it).  I was about to have a shower and was trying to sort out the bathroom a little better.  There was no tub…just a drain on the floor, and there was no way to control where the water went, making a shower a messy experience.  I was thinking about it when I realized that there was another way…I had split the bathroom in half and was using the storage side for bins of off-season clothes.  I realized I could use the entire space for the bathroom because there was another few rooms down the hallway that I’d never seen before.  I kept calling D to show him…

“Look!  We have space for a second family room and we can put our bedroom at the back!”

There was also a door surrounded by windows leading to a patio filled with flowers and plants.  I had never actually explored that far into the place.  Pretty cool.

The pain is up and down right now.  I spent some time going over my films last night before I passed out and wow…is that ever cool stuff.  I was mesmerized by my intestines in the CT lol….seemed impossible to have all that inside me!  I have hundreds of images of my head and complete spine (I think each section has over 300 individual slices) and I can clearly trace the damage from top to bottom.  Kind of annoying that I can see exactly where the trouble is but all these docs didn’t even bother to tell me about it.  That said, the more I think of it the more sense it makes…all those doctors and their confused looks…I never understood why they reacted like that but now it’s clear.  They all assumed I knew, I mean, it was five years ago right?  They’ve all known my back was messed up when they saw the report and couldn’t understand why I didn’t understand what they were saying.  Gah.  So irritating.

As for meds.  The birth control pill seems to be working nicely with my system.  I’ve been taking it for five days now and have no weird side effects (those always hit me nearly immediately).  I did get a bladder infection, I think, although I’m not sure how.  I’m drinking water today like a fish to try to flush it out.  The stomach pill is helping for most of the day but for some reason, between 2-3 in the afternoon, I get nausea and throw up anything that’s still in my stomach.  I’ve tried eating/not eating, drinking water/tea/juice.  Nothing really helps.  I get that dizzy off balance feeling too.  It’s still better than it was though so I’m not complaining.

I’m going to attempt to drag Colt stocking stuffer shopping after school today.  We found a dollar store that sells a lot of decent Betty Crocker kitchen utensils and Colt wants to buy some stuff for his dad’s kitchen.  The fun thing is that D will love this sort of stuff 🙂  I hope Colt is in a happy mood tonight and we can have some fun shopping for his dad.  It’s not something we get to do often.

Okay.  On with Wednesday, I suppose.  xox


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About Grainne

My name is Grainne. This blog has been with me for years now and has served as a journal, a confessional, an outlet and a place for me to create and express my love of life. Thank you for stopping by and for becoming a part of this life long journey of mine. I appreciate every single one of you who takes the time to do so. :)

2 responses to “Wednesday”

  1. paindepression says :

    Sure would of been nice to of been informed of all the things they found in your scans. I still cannot believe they did not tell you. That is so horrible! Hang in there and I hope you have a good time this evening with your son…..

    • Grainne says :

      Thanks for the support. It’s all falling into place now…I think everyone but that neurologist who ordered the scan thought I’d been told so no one ever thought to tell me. What bothers me most is that, had I not paid to have my medical records copied and pulled for me, I’d never have known. I would have just gone forward trying to find answers and reasons when the answers were locked away in a hospital chart.

      I’m planning on having some fun with my guy tonight…maybe turn this week around some. Colt is autistic and this is really the first year he’s getting into the spirit of things. He’s quite excited to surprise his dad with a stocking and I’m loving every minute of his joy. Makes up for all the rotten parts of life.

      I hope you’re feeling okay today too. Take it easy. 🙂

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