Captive can be a good thing too, I suppose. I need safety and, when I’m being contained in one house in my dreams, I can attach a sense of belonging to it all. There is a pair of shoes at the door that I would recognize anywhere, I know the colour scheme of the kitchen…I know, right now, where the metal spatula is kept in that house. I can describe the fabric of the curtains, I know the place so well.
When held in only one room, that horrible front room, my world shrinks down again and even though I’m terrified of my captor, it’s somewhere I can find a touch of peace.
When I go to work I’m behind on important projects. It’s just general stress from…well…being behind at work. (Sometimes they are just that literal). Home is…well, it’s someone else’s home, but familiarity sometimes supersedes safety, when it can’t be found.
Well that lesson couldn’t be more clear could it?
All I have ever dreamed about was to belong somewhere absolutely. I really just want to find a home.
(I cannot stop my head spinning today. I think I’ll buckle down and do two hours of work, then go home to hide in peace). Stupid life. *sigh*