Ice storm footing
Tears. Feeling alone here in the dark. The wind is blowing outside my window and it makes such a sound. Out here there is nothing to quell it, no buildings anyway, just trees. I don’t know why but I hate the wind. Maybe it makes me feel like I’m about to be blown away.
Once, when I was little, I got blown off my feet in an ice storm. I was a tiny little thing, maybe half the size of my peers and it had been raining ice all afternoon while I was in school. The sidewalks were covered in a layer of ice flat as glass and even winter boots were like ice skates by the time the home bell rang. I shuffled my way home through a tight sub division and was fine until I came to an open field where I had to cross a main street. I waited until the road was clear, took one step off the sidewalk and the moment my foot hit the road a gust of wind whipped up behind me and sent me skating across the street completely out of control. I fell when I got to the other side and the wind pushed me, on my bum now, up and onto the sidewalk. I grabbed the street sign to catch myself but every time I tried to get up I’d just fall down again. I ended up sitting there until a neighbor came out and rescued me. I was only five or so. Felt so out of control.
It’s so lonely here. Everywhere I am, it seems.
I think I’m okay. Just really not feeling home yet.