This Sort of Day
I just sent an IM to a friend that about sums up my entire day so far. It was too perfect not to share:
Grainne says:
wow, i’m not breathing
that was an odd realization.
sitting here thinking “somethingswrongsomethingswrongsomethingswrong”
can’t figure it out…chest starts to burn.
oh. inhale.
I’m off to face my boss again this afternoon. This time, I have some back up (colleague of mine is part of this group also so I won’t be alone). I’m anxious but it might just be pre-meeting jitters. I always do this to myself, I know not why. I suppose it keeps me on my toes and aware of any dangers that I might overlook (i.e. mistakes that I might make).
Ok…one more cup of tea and 30 minutes to go. I’ll be fine as soon as I get there.
3 Responses to “This Sort of Day”
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Too funny. The breathing thing, remember Marie Osmond fainting on Dancing with the Stars? I only heard about it on the press afterwards but I so could relate to her saying (paraphrase) “Oh, I’m OK. I just forgot to breath. I do that sometimes.”
I had been out of college about 7 years when I decided I would ‘drop out’ of working in schools and open a studio. I decided I really should get credentials for being a piano teacher beyond my Music Ed degree. So I took this summer course at a pretty prominent institution and had to play a duet with another course participant. We barely get the first note played when the instructor jumps on me — “You are not breathing.” And gives a big old lecture to the class on the problem that creates, … I’ll remember it all my days. I wish I could have melted down through the floor but now it is a question I do ask myself when I’m nervous: “Are you breathing?”
I think almost everyone gets nervous before meetings, especially with people we don’t like. You are human, and unless that tea is herbal, the caffeine is apt to add to the jitters. I have an adult student (the only one who is hanging on past my retirement, but only on a very irregular basis) who is tiny, tiny & wired. If she has a cup of caffeinated coffee before a lesson we both know it.
haha! I can imagine your student getting all wired up for a lesson…lol. My tea is, indeed, herbal but I do let one or two green tea’s slip in there through the day and they have a bit of caffeine. I used to drink a LOT of coffee…day and night, always had a cup going, and I noticed a huge difference in my anxiety levels when I cut that from my diet, of course. I figure with the pepsi AND coffee completely out of my system, I’m okay on the two cup of caffeinated tea a day limit.
When I was in high school (music major, as you know) I did exactly the same when playing piano or guitar. They were never my strongest instruments and because I was nervous I often played all locked up, not breathing. My (mean) music instructor told me to think of the instrument the way I think of my voice when I sing. I need oxygen and support to hold a note with my voice, so she told me to simply breathe for the piano. It stuck with me as well…now when I play, which is far less often than I should, I always take deep, long breaths. Hmmm…sounds soothing doesn’t it? Gonna have to drag that guitar out of the attic this weekend.
Sorry you had a mean instructor. Piano teachers — students either love or hate us. I don’t think anyone has lukewarm opinions about their piano teachers. My college instructor (an angel & total classy lady) used the singing metaphor tons. And did I ever hate to sing alone in front of her.
I think it is so great you could major in music at the H.S. level. Hope the guitar is in playable condition when you bring it out. Think Colt will enjoy the guitar too?