Hey all. So I find myself with an extra 15 minutes before I drop off the face of the earth at 4:38 PM and I wanted to type a blog so I logged onto my computer to discover that it’s broken. I don’t know if I have a virus or if there’s something wrong with the Internet but if you’ve known me for a while, you’ll know that there is almost always something wrong with my Internet so I’m not terribly concerned. I’m going to try to text this entry into my iPhone which is not a favorite pastime of mine. If it comes out all garbled and stupid sounding please forgive me.
So the new job is going fine. I am having fun learning the new skills and people are actually kind of nice so it’s a whole different environment from where I came from. Mind you, these people get paid a hell of a lot more than my old cohorts did. Being back in the hospital on a clinical unit is a real eye-opener now that all the reductions of been put in place and there’s all different systems. We are right now in the middle of changing our entire paper patient record over to an electronic record. They have connected all of the hospitals in our area so it’s actually quite an endeavor. Being on the corporate side of things,
of course, I saw all of the budgetary information but didn’t have a real sense of what it was actually like for the providers on the floor. Some people, like the younger nurses and the new residents fellows and physicians, actually quite like the changes as they were trained in a more electronic age. The older physicians nurses and providers however, are struggling with the technology. The hospital, or maybe more so the ministry, has pumped hundreds of thousands and possibly millions of dollars into this changeover. It will be interesting to see it unfold at the very least.
As for the pain, it’s still there and I’m still struggling. I’m still hopeful that the additional movement and activity around me will eventually help with the pain, I’m not entirely sure how long I’ll have to wait until it subsides, but as for now it’s quite monumental. My stomach is in shreds and I don’t know if it’s from the additional stress of having to learn all of this new information but I’m having to take twice as much stomach medication I was before. I’m thinking of trying
to see my doctor to see if I can find something else that might work for a while. Right now, I need to concentrate on hiding the pain and problems that I have so that I can, at the very least keep this job until I find something full-time permanent, hopefully long before September. I am truly not sure if I’m going to be able to make it but I can’t think of any reason not to try.
When I get home I pretty much managed to get Colt settled and then I fall sleep for the day. It’s leaving me with no time to do anything. The House is a mess except for The things D can help with, the outside is a mess because I haven’t had a chance to pick anything up from the winter, I don’t have any clean clothes cause I can’t manage to get any laundry done, and I haven’t even been able to stay in touch with my friends via email and I can barely update my blog. Next week I have some more time on my own in the office and I was thinking it would allow me to catch up on a few things but I’m worried that I’ll end up spending even more time trying to figure everything out.
So I’m a crummy housekeeper and pretty much a crummy mother cause I barely see my kid and I’m trying desperately to learn this new job while existing in incredible pain and carrying around this exhaustion. Doesn’t seem to matter how much I sleep but as long as it’s around 12 hours I can function for most of the rest of the day. So that’s about where I am now. I haven’t been able to email any of my friends and I’m starting to feel really bad so I decided to email them all back short reply tonight, update my blog and then just give up and go to sleep and start again tomorrow.
One good thing is that human resources seems to have listened to my concerns and they’ve agreed to continue helping me some. I don’t know if that’s going to be until September when this job closes or whether it’s only going to be until the end of May, but I’m still getting layoff preference … which really got me nothing in the first place but, help is help in whatever form it comes.
So as exciting is that was that is about my life just now. I’m hoping and hoping and hoping that next week as my schedule settles the pain will calm down, my clarity will come back and I’ll actually be able to engage in life again rather than just sleeping and working. The caliber of people I’m surrounded by is really making a difference, they seem to be caring compassionate people. Some are bitchy and want to complain but because I have over 300 people in my department now the pickings are a little bit less slim than they used to be. It’s definitely been a Great change.
To all my wonderful blog friends, thank you for sticking this out with me. I haven’t had a chance to catch up on your blogs or to read your comments but I promise I will do so as soon as I am able.
Over and out for now. Xx. Sorry again, for the probable terrible grammar spelling and punctuation errors. I’m stuck with this iPhone for now and I’m too tired to pick through and make sure it’s all perfect.
Going to try to do a few shorter posts through the day. I feel like I’m all bound up with information I need to share and just cannot find the time to record it! I’m alone for a little bit today so will formulate and plan prior to logging in. lol…oh the trials eh?
Weekend was good. I slept a lot and felt well rested this morning when I woke up. The dreams have been pale and not so terrifying of late so that’s helping a ton too.
I have something on my mind about the power of the moment…I’ll share that one when I go for a coffee break.
Happy Monday all! xx More soon.
Oh god I’m tired. I’m so wiped out I fell asleep yesterday while we were out shopping. We went into a store..I remember that clearly and then things get fuzzy. Apparently, I just went to sleep somewhere between the store and the car. D helped me to the car and then we drove around finishing the errands I’m told, while I snoozed. I have no memory of anything until around 8 or 830 when D woke me and gave me some rice and pork soft tacos he’d made. (Amazingly delicious, FYI).
I’ve done a lot this week though, between the new Job and being able to run errands on the way home. I’ve been trying really hard to get as much into every day as I can without burning my body out. I guess I’m pushing the right limits. :).
I just did a very gentle work out/stretch with my shoulders, which are causing me problems and pain today. It made them much worse so I’ve changed to heat/ice/rest. $20 says i’m asleep within the next 10 minutes
New job is going really well and I’m pretty happy about the changes made. I have tons more information and thoughts that I want to share with you guys but it will have to wait until a moment when I’m not about to sleep. I’m kind of pushing it today even though I’ve been awake only a couple of hours.
I think I’ve pissed off most of my internet email friends (present company excluded because I know you guys understand). Nothing I can do but carry on and continue trying to get as much into my day as I can. The ones who love me for who I am will stay. :)
Training continues for one more week and then I start a new adventure. Lol. It’s a fun job though. All I do is help people, manage their pay and their time, smile at everyone who walks by and make sure the unit runs smoothly. It’s about custom built for my personality. Xx
…the anxiety. Somehow, the calm, graceful side of Grainne is surfacing at work now. It might just be part of the ploy to convince them I’m a good employee…lol. Who knows. It’s working though. No panic aside from nightmares and no freak outs in the bathroom. I’m pleased that all I’m experiencing is pain. Then again, maybe that’s why the anxiety is down. Pain almost always overshadows everything I feel.
K. Now sleep. (night!~)
Hey All. Wow this has been a week! It’s only Wednesday, to my amazement. I can’t believe how much longer days feel when you have no freaking clue what you’re doing.
So the new job (temp for six months) is going very well. It’s a staffing role so I work directly on a unit in the actual hospital, not an offsite office like I used to occupy. As predicted, the constant action, interruptions, visits and needs to run to the nurses stations help to keep me more awake but I’m finding the increased movement is just murder on my spine. I’m assuming that once I get more used to it, more used to moving so much that is, the pain will reduce. I’m hoping that’s the case anyway. I’m not taking a lot of narcotics at this point and I’m doing it on purpose, hoping to equalize and keep my brain cells firing at the same time. It’s a very memory intensive job…people pretty much yell out stuff as I walk down the hall and I try to keep track between getting done what I need done and returning to the little cubby I share with another staffing clerk along with the newest things yelled at me on the way back.
The unit itself is one of the biggest in the hospital so there are two separate nursing stations to visit, North and South. Each has a full compliment of nurses and clerks along with all the fellows, residents and docs who round at different times daily. Busy busy place. The memory comes into play while trying to ensure proper coverage while following the BOOK of union rules. It’s insane. A full-time on A line can work 2 weekends in a row but must have five days off in a row if you have her work the fourth weekend…stuff like that. There are sheets and sheets of schedules to do for a single week plus all the assignments and patient rotations…. *HEAD SPLITTING YAWN HERE*.
The staff are still pretty snotty and guarded with me but they’re usually like that until you get to know them some. I’ve had some attitude already from a few of them but more than that smile and wish me luck when they see me fly by. I quite like the atmosphere and attitude of most of them. The coordinator, manager and current staffing clerk are hugely accommodating to their staff which means tons more work for me finding coverage, but results in a happier staff in the end. It’s a real people job…prefect for me.
Funnily enough, the last clerk went on leave three years ago because she had terrible arthritis and her meds were making her mess up the schedules, resulting in thousands of accidental OT hours being paid out. The union isn’t fond of seeing that, nor is payroll. It was suggested she take a leave and just never came back. Good to know I can stretch out long-term for a few years if I have to…lol. In the meanwhile I’m valiantly pretending that I’m perfectly fine and feel no pain. Quite the opposite is true.
I’ve been loving the earlier hours a lot but it just results in me being asleep by 430 rather than 530. I’m drinking those (horrible) energy shots with taurine and caffeine in them to get through the 2 o’clock crash (which used to hit me at 3 when I started later – hence, took my meds later in the morning). D suggested I take them when I get to work but I can’t show up all slumped over in agony. I’m not permanent. I don’t want to give anyone the idea I can’t handle this job. I’ve blown off the things my trainer has noticed and flat-out lied about my ability to cope (in a casual conversation, not in a way that will come back to haunt me later). I have no choice, it feels like. We are about to start suffering big time…in the bank account department as it is. The huge pay drop is justifiable but still going to hurt us very badly. I hope we can still afford rent when we see what my take home is. No one would tell me so I have to wait until I get paid the first time to see what my rate will be. I don’t know what I’ll do from there. I’m taking it day by day.
Right now I have a lot of pissed off friends whom I used to email pretty much daily. I can’t access a PC at work anymore, only have a 30 min break as opposed to 60…I’m not alone for a second of my entire day. I can’t even get a quick blog post off in the mornings anymore. I think once I’m on my own I should be a little more free to hide somewhere and play on my phone…right now it’s important to make friends with some of these folks so I’m not just walked straight out the door when my six months are up. On that note, if anyone with more seniority than me applies for the full-time posting, I’m shit out of luck. The union is also preventing me from applying for other permanent jobs at this time…I’m pulling strings at HR because they fucked me over so badly…no one is returning my email which means they don’t want to tell me how screwed I might just be. I don’t know…it’s stressful but I’m trying to just figure this one out and then I’ll figure out there rest.
So. I’m a bit stressed. The job is not hard but it’s intense and tricky. If anyone gets called out of order or someone is offered a shift who has less seniority over someone else, the senior staff member can grieve the shift and I’m screwed. I’m photocopying the entire freaking contract and bringing it home to memorize on the weekend….if I can manage to stay awake for more than the time it takes to do laundry and generally tidy up.
D is now dropping Colt off at the sitter in the morning so I’m coming home to all the lights on, food sitting out on the counter, garbage sitting next to the food, dirty laundry everywhere and that sort of fun. I spent ten minutes cleaning up tonight and then just about went to sleep, but thought I’d shoot off a blog post first. I’m going to try to at least be awake when D gets home today as we’re completely missing each other with my sleepy schedule. He’s not even heard how the new job is yet. I was really bitchy on Monday night…not so bad last night…a little better tonight. The pain is driving me crazy though…i don’t know what to do with it all. :( I just keep hoping it will lessen or let go or … go away. This is just so much stress and it’s not even a permanent job.
In conclusion, after three days of this, I need a break, I’m tired, I’m in a ton of pain but….I seem to be succeeding somehow. The bulk of the new staff are kind enough and my direct superior is quite cool. She’s easy-going and to the point but I’d not like to cross her. Hopefully, I will make a good impression and who knows what the future might hold. I’ve heard of a couple full-time jobs coming up in some out-patient clinics in the next months so I’ll definitely be applying for those, even if I legally can’t due to union rules. It’s that or end up right back where I started only in a crappier position with even worse pay.
Happiness though. It’s worth a lot. Once I manage to settle in, this might be a pretty good place for me to stay a while. I hope.
xox Hope everyone is well. Please forgive me for not being around at all…I’m really behind on everything social.
Next steps: Feed child. Say Hi to D. Sleep.